Holidays are going to kill me...

Well, going on 6 hours sleep for the last 3 days...

Too tired, too busy. Still have a pile of shopping to do. And I have to drive to Cobourg. And other stuff.

I think I might die of exhaustion before then.

This is just a quick check in. I will give info on my time in Ottawa, really. I just don't have the time right now.

Chill. Later.

P.S. Toronto traffic was hell this morning with all the fucking snow. No, I take that bad. It was hell because of bad drivers.

Back from Ottawa

So friggin tired. I drove from Ottawa yesterday. Pretty much right into work. Need to do the majority of my Christmas shopping. And I need a shower so badly, I can't even begin to describe how nasty I feel.

I'll put up details from my trip, and hopefully pictures later...

Saturdays...

Need something to do tonight.

Worked last night. Which sucked. I ended up manning all four machines myself. I managed to keep three running at all times, because I was always screwing around with some stupid problem on one of them!!

Didn't get anything I wanted to do done, like set up drills. Play with the drill sharpening machine. Play with the lathe. Play with the Mill. etc...

Ah, well. Got 38 hours anyways, so my paycheque wont' suck so much.

Hung out with Pat for a bit. That was okay. Went to lunch with Chris.

Dave and I had pizza after I got back from work (him from hanging out with his parents)

I'll have to remember to volunteer to work the week after next, if Sven wants the machines running.

Thats about it.

If you're reading this and know me, gimme a call. I'm probably bored.

The subway I was in on Wednesday.

Emma, Blogger, Doctors and (Fake?) Life

Well, I had already made a decision to not even look at her blog last night/this morning. I come online to find that she has in fact posted a comment on my blog. She can say what she wants about me, hell, she has already. That alone has already launched her into the "Disgusting Individual" list for me. (Long story involving possible cancer and her trying to make a sick joke that I had the "Clap" instead) there are few lows left for her to sink to in my eyes.

I think in the end, that she doesn't really know what we were ever about as friends. (She'll probably bend that statement to her own ends...) She never really fit in anyways. Here's a special slur for you Emma if you're out there reading this: Maybe its because you're a bit ditzy. But besides this she accuses that Megan wasn't really crying. What the fuck would she know about that? Did she even look? The answer for the slow ones in the class is "No"

And one quick statement. In regards to my statement that her blog seemed to reflect the life of a druggie. I am afraid that when one is talking about the drugs they've done in every other blog...its hard to draw another conclusion, which, if Emma had bothered to read the post prior, I said may not be true, and admitted that I may have been looking for more in the posts than was there.

She never did anything to us? That is a curious idea. I have a question: What did we do to her? I think quite possibly this is a chicken/egg scenario where who started what exactly isn't (and probably will never be) clear. I think both sides would have solid arguments for who started what. In any case, both sides are probably guilty of the ambiguous "doing stuff to each other"

Ah, well. Trying to have a rational discussion with her, or Emery right now would be akin to...talking to my brother Charlie...*shudders*

But, if it makes you (Emma) feel better, I have also resolved not to dicuss you, or your fucked up idea of friendship on my blog any longer, mostly because it is a waste of what little writing talent I have (I misspell Klap all the time you know). You go live a fantastic life somewhere. Become famous, that'll really show us. Do whatever. I realize this isn't really you trying to be mean or whatever per se, as it is like the parable of 'The Scorpion and the Fox'. Be happy, live life as fully as possible. Bye. (BTW, This also means I don't want you to talk to me, can we agree on that much?)

Onto life. Went to Peterborough, and the Doc says its looking good. I still have to go back every 3 months, but he thinks the abnormal cells are gone! YAY!! No cancer for Tara!!

Tried to post this morning about at least the not going to read Emma's blog, etc. And it screwed up somehow. Didn't post for some friggin reason.

Got to see Gabe today, we hung out. I took him Christmas shopping. He's is sooo cute. I work tomorrow, so I am back in Toronto tonight. LOL! He told me today that I am old. And today do I feel it. I've only had like 2 hours sleep. And my knee's been bothering me for the past few days.

Well, I have to say it would seem that my blog is living up to its name as something to bitch about! LOL.

Have tonight off of work, which means I can have a nice long sleep, which I probably won't have. Maybe watch a movie, hang out with Chris. Relax. A nice change of pace for me.

Have work tomorrow. Dave offered to get some Champagne and sparkling white wine, so I could taste the difference between the two. I think I might go get a Guiness, cause I love that nasty dark beer.

You know, there was a time when if you had told me that I would drink beer because I enjoyed the flavour, I would have told you that not only were you stupid, but you were crazy too.

But I have been developing my palate for more things. I am trying new things all the time, and sometimes I am surpised to find that I like them alot. Ah, life. Will you never cease to bring us new and exciting things to try and do?


All for now. May all who read this have lives full of interesting things! :P Now the only problem is: Who gets to define "interesting"?

Amendment.

You know on that last one, I thought a little bit about what I said, and I think the thing that pissed me off the most was: There was Meg, CRYING, no more than 10 feet away.

Like, they had to have known something was going on. I can only hope the pair of them aren't THAT dense. But then again...

Her blog still sounds like the life of a druggie.

I thought about why I still read her blog, or why I was looking for what she had to say about that day in particular, and I have to say its a morbid fascination. Because on several levels I don't want to know. But I have this curiousity that compells me to find out more. I dunno, its weird.

Work went alright last night despite tons of stuff breaking.

All I can say to Meg and Phil at this point is "BANANA PHONE! YOU BASTARDS!!" That fucking song was stuck in my head all fucking night!! At one point I may have been considering homicide...no comments there *glares in their general direction*

I think I was going to talk about something else, but I've forgotten it. So c'est fin.

Ah, doth she never get what is going on?

"We went to MacGregors and although some "people" who were there werent too happy to see me or emery, we still had fun." EVT on her blog.

I like how we were relegated as "people".

I don't think she knows there aren't too many people too happy to see them nowadays.

Ah, well. I have to admit, I find most of her blog seems to be the life of a druggie. But like I said in a previous rants, blogs aren't the whole truth and it is hopefully not the case...

Maybe I'm just looking for things. That could be it too.

Well, if ya wanna laugh, I left ya the link.

This is a crappy picture of one of the machines at work. Unfortunately, A) I am not very good with my new cheapo digital camera and B) it doesn't like low-light conditions very much. But you can sort of see some of it. I might try again tonight.

Webbing...

You know, I feel totally inspired as of late to make a website, or even, websites. I just have ideas flowing through me about what I could do with them.

And doing this blog has made me feel a little more web-saavy than I used to. Which isn't saying much, but I more or less just used the internet for e-mail and a few other odd items.

I want to make a website, where I can add my creations, and have it connected to my blog so that it'll be one happy site. And I was thinking of dedicating at least a page to anecdotes and picture of things my son has done that are cute.

Even more than that, I am interested in making a site for my friends to go with my Yahoo group. We could have topic based discussions, more space for pictures and writings. Maybe make a common page where we could all put up various forms of artwork and prose to have the other people do criticisms. It would be really cool.

Anyhoo, thats something that's been on my mind lately. ;)

Quick addition...

Stopped at a place in Oshawa called Kwik Stop. We had to stop when we spotted it. Meg, Phil and I.

Oral sex is awesome. Regular sex is awesome. Sex is just plain awesome.

Looked at a few interesting but fucked up sites lately.

Driving is fun. But tiring.

Megan, sorry for taking the spiced pepsi, but I am an addict.

Thats it for right this sec.

Well, that was tense...

Well, last night was...interesting.

Let me tell you about the rest of the day first. I talked to Michelle and she mentions that they (three of my friends) are gonna do some Christmas shopping in Oshawa. So I figure I might as well meet up with them. So I phone at like 9 am to get a hold of Michelle. By some luck, she's already up, so I ask her about it, and she's all cool with the idea, and thinks the other people are too.

So after that I get the cool idea that I should invite Megan and Phil. I phone them, and they are kosher with it so the plan is in action. But I end up getting to their place late because I talk to someone before I left, and I topped up the fluids in the car, etc. (I got a little lost too :O)

So we meet up, I quickly drive them to a nearby mall because we have to pick up the bridesmaids dresses for her brother's wedding. We pick them up, no problemo, and we're off to Oshawa. We arrive, and manage to get two phone numbers (cell phones) for them, but no luck (we find out later one didn't work and the other was left in the car) We shop for a few hours and then head to Cobourg area and drop off the dresses and say howdy to Meg's folks.

After this we go to my house and finally make contact with the rest of the people and decide to go to dinner together. This is where the fun was...

We get to the restaurant where we always go, and who was sitting there but Emma and Emery. I didn't notice them until I left to get some money from the bank.

When I get back, Ben and Tyler are talking to them, Michelle and Phil are sitting near Megan, who is crying. Immediately, I ask her if she is okay. She isn't. Did she want us to leave? Yes. So I round up Tyler and Ben (and his GF Jamie) and were about to leave when I see Phil going back to them...

I don't think he knew at the time, and I didn't even know at the time that the pair of us were on edge, and ready for a fight. I was so focussed on Phil and getting him out, because I knew if he stayed there was going to be a fight. SO I finally drag him out and we argree to go somewhere else.

I explain why we're leaving to Ben, Jamie (the unfortunate who got caught in the middle of this) and Tyler, who had no idea what was going on...it was so fucked up, meeting them there. Even by accident. It put a damper on the whole day. I think we're gonna have to give that place up. Sadly, I've been a irregular patron there for 4 or 5 years now, and I don't want to. At the same time, I don't want to chance another meeting like last night's.

Didn't write yesterday. Too tense after all was done. That and I fell asleep. Driving all day and all the other stuff that went down, took a lot out of me (and I had a couple of beers, which will also make me sleepier if I am already sleepy).

Ugh. Yesterday, despite the fact that the worst case scenario didn't happen was still hellish. Hope it never happens again.

Mmmm. Beer and Sleep. Two things I often go without. ;)

Well, spent some time yesterday adding links to my blog. You'll see them on the right side under the archives, etc. It took me forever to remember my HTML enough to do it, but it is done.

Dave and I decided not to work last night. We already had accumulated a couple hours of overtime anyways, so it was no big deal.

So I stayed at home. Pissed around on the internet. I talked to Michelle for a bit. I have to admit, there was a time when you could say I didn't particulairly like Michelle (the feeling was probably mutual). But nowadays, I dunno why in particular, but we seem to get along pretty well. Maybe we've both mellowed out some, I dunno.

Gonna go to Cobourg. Maybe see if I can get a hold of peoples and meet up. (After I pick up Gabe of course!) On that note, I must go.

I hate conveyors!

Man, I was so frustrated with one of the chip conveyors at work. It took me 3 hours to get the stupid thing working again. Had to unhook like 40 hoses from the tank (Yes, there was only 5) and then I had to clean under the wheels two or three times before we could get it out. I also pulled some chips out of the machine bare handed, so my hand has got some small cuts on it now. At least its my right hand.

Then I had to do the chips. And as usual the little bastard A.K.A. the Chris I work with, left the bin full again. *sigh* And left four pails from his shift for me to do as well. And he bitches about doing chips...He's gone anyways. Which, sadly enough, will probably mean more work for me. Hooray...

Talked to Pat yesterday before work. Was interesting. Talked about his ex-gf for a little. Whom, I feel no remorse in saying, was a bitch. Trust me I lived with them. But I end my statements there. I am happy to have nothing to do with her, and that is enough.

Also talked about Em, an old friend of mine who I guess (or so the grapevine suggests) is going out with Pat's ex. He's been a real asshole lately. Not only that, but I think he is developing/has some major substance abuse problems. Which paired with his uneven temprement as of late, does not bode well. But he's an adult and can make his own decisions. I hope they don't leave him alone and destitute in the end...but the way things seem to be going for him...*shrugs* I will have nothing more to do with that one until he straightens out. If he straightens out.

Oh. Gotta write this one down. Dave and I were coming home from work, during which (because a certain stupid piece of shit conveyor didn't work) we didn't take lunch, so we went to a grocery store to find some food.

We get to the deli and they have a sign saying that they will make you a pizza. So we're thinking this is cool, because we both felt like having pizza. So she says to come back in 5, and they'll make our pizza. But it was just one of those store pizzas. They make them fresh and package them for you to take home to cook.

But she asks us if we want it cooked. So we said yes, and in six minutes we had a large pepperoni pizza to go from a grocery store. They had to wrap it in aluminium foil. They don't have boxes for them even. It was still awesome.

Anyways, i should be in bed. When we work Fridays we have to go in early. So I have to get up early.

Today you should have some chocolate.

Work. Work. Work.

Well, work was alright. Though my back is sore. Never really thought about how much stuff at work weighs, until one of the guys that works with the other machines saw us moving some parts. Says one of the pails we were moving/lifting typically weighed in at 178lbs. Then I got to thinking about the other stuff I lift and carry. Then I go "No wonder why my back is sore..."

Got some hot oil in my eyes at work today. Thats an exaggeration. It was really hot, more like 30-40 degrees celsius or so. Not the most pleasant sensation I can say. My eyes felt funny for some time afterwards. But I'm all good now. And Sven was in a pleasant mood again today. Maybe he's looking forward to the holidays.

Watched another episode of ReGenesis. They seem to have wound up a lot of plot in advance into this show. I can already see several story arcs forming and its only like 5 episodes or so in. We'll see if it gets another season.

Yesterday afternoon when I got up I talked to a friend of mine, Megan. We had nto been talking lately because of some really really complicated stuff went down. Part of it was my fault. Parts of it were the fault of others. So I backed off to give people space. (And to give me space and time to figure out what the fuck was going on) In any case I think we managed to clear the air between us for the most part. Hopefully this will mean that we will hang out sometime soon. Haven't hung out with Meg in a long time.

You know, speaking of Megan, I have a mini rant here for ya's. Okay, subject: Blogs. Lots of people have blogs. Lots of people I know have blogs. Some people have it for different reasons than others. (Yeah, I figured you knew the obvious of me having a blog, LOL!)

So, Megan has a blog, which I read infrequently at best, along with some other people I know. So she made a comment on her blog which someone she knew took exception to. I mean, first of all it was a criticism. People have the right to criticize. Hell's people have the right to say whatever the fuck they want.

Not only that but this person gets so pissed they talk to at least one other person who phoned Megan up and WAS THREATENING HER! I mean over a statement made on a friggin' blog, which isn't really meant to be read that way. I mean, if I write about some fuck-nut on here and they found out about it, so what right? You got issues, talk to me.

Or better yet, realize that Blogs are a person's thoughts at the moment. And not necessarily 100% to be taken as GODS truth. And the phone threats were waaay to fucking much. Scary to say the least. Megan took the post she had made down, even though I think she shouldn't have.

I mean, first of all, what's done is done. Taking it down won't change the fact that it had been there. And secondly, she has a right to make whatever comments on her blog that she wants to. I think she should keep on ploughing through with her blog, writing whatever the fuck she wants to. I know she's written some unsavoury comments about me on there: So What? She is expressing herself, and she blows off frustration and other emotions that way. Which is much more healthy than phoning someone up screaming at them for comments made on a fucking blog. Thats all I have to say on that...for now...still kinda pissed.

Oh, and I wrote a little last night. Not sure what it is yet, sort of something I just started. I'll have to keep writing to see where I end up.

Have a beer. You look like you need one. Have one for me too while you're at it. I need one too. :P

Well, another day, another dollar.

Well, got back from work not too long ago. I think I am pretty boring to read. So, if you are among the unfortunate, sorry for being boring...and that has passed, don't really care anymore whether you think I am boring. You're the one who is reading this of their own free will.

Anyways, back to what I was saying. Got back from work and watched "ReGenesis" with Dave. Its a new show thats on TMN. Its pretty cool, though as is typical with many shows of such nature, I found some of the info they were using kinda...iffy I guess. But still pretty cool. The concept is that the US, Canada and Mexico set up a lab to help combat bio-terrorism and to deal epidemics and stuff like that. So it talks about Mad-Cow/Scrapie/CJD, flus, etc. I think they're either trying to educate the public about things like that, or they're trying to scare the shit out of people.

So work was frustrating. Day shift really, really pisses me off sometimes. Actually, I felt like using one of our big hammers on someone at one point. But as I am not really prone to violence, the other 3 people who were around were safe. LOL. Actually, it wasn't all that bad. Though Sven was quite civil this morning, which is nice and also a rare occurance.

Chris is actually getting into his new job nicely, which is good. Apparently he's going to get a paycheque from his new job, and from his old job around the same time next week. Says he's going to do some Christmas shopping. It does sound like a pleasant thing. Chris having money. Maybe I can convinve him to buy himself some new clothes...

Well, thats it for now I think.

Later :P

Gotta run...

Don't have much time before I have to go to work, so I'll make this quick.

Had dinner with Kim, Dave and Chris (my BF). We talked about Christmas and stuff. Was interesting. Sort of like when Kim used to live with us. (We were all room-mates, Dave, Chris and I still are).

Dave says he's going to try and figure out whats up with Christmas shut down at work. Going to talk to his Dad. Apparently we get a dinner and a bonus. That'll be cool. Wonder how long we're going to shut down for? Dave says they say two weeks, but it usually ends up being one. We'll see.

Gonna see my son on the weekend too. Yeah, he saw me on Monday, but I figure that if I keep this up, there'll only be 4 days a week he doesn't see me, and he goes to school on 2-3 of them, so it isn't so bad. DOn't see him enough.

Gotta go!

Here be Monday...

Yup. Monday in all its glory. Found out from Dave why I am getting a raise: Sven doesn't want me to leave. Apparently he's afraid of people leaving. Which is funny because one of the guys who works there is leaving.

In any case I went to my parents home yesterday to drop my son and sister off. It was also my mother's birthday. I got some cake and stuff. Overall not too bad.

I'm pretty broke right now. You know, so many things that seemed like a good idea in the past, turn out so poorly in the future. I am making up for the excesses from a few years ago. But thats okay. Its one of those thing that once I am completely in the clear, I'll feel like I have so much money, because I won't have to pay a billion things off. Course then I'll be doing RRSP's and crap like that to save it.
So maybe not.

Busy, stressed some of the time. Took 2 1/2 hours to get home. Ugh.

Thats all I feel like sayin' right now.

Ciao!

Saturday...

Well, picked up my son. And my sister. And the plans I had for today more or less fell through. So, here I am with two kids 7 years old and less, for two days. I wanted to have just Gabe, but he wanted Jac to come, and she really wanted to come, so I really didn't have much choice in the matter. We'll se if I'm sane later. Gotta run. They're wreaking havoc I think...

Well, that was weird...

Well, last night I went to work solo. Which means Dave didn't go. He went to a concert. So I was all in charge and stuff. Sven (the boss) came in and asked me how much I made (I think I make the least in the shop). Not sure if he was being sarcastic, which he is most of the time (worst part being you're never sure if he's trying to be sarcastic or not), I told him anyways. He comes in this morning and tells me that he's giving me a raise. Which is cool. But comfusing. He gave me a raise like 2 weeks ago. But I wasn't about to comment or complain. Still weird though.

In addition to this oddity, the foreman, who is usually rude...no, thats not fair. More like obnoxious to me/us in the morning is all cheery and we have polite conversation for the first time I can remember since I started. Usually he treats me like a 5 year old.

Talked to Chris, my boyfriend when I got home this morning. Yeah, I work a 10 hour grave yard shift, from 8PM to 6:30AM. Anyways, he's just started a new job, working for a rent to own sort of place, which pays better than his part time working-at-the university-library job (THANK GOD!). In any case I ask him how his first day went and he said it was pretty good, and he doesn't really mind it. I sensed a "yet" in there. Though he says he's going to keep looking for a better job. One would hope having a university degree would be worth something...

Um...I also checked out my Yahoo Group, which is livening up more now that we're using more of the Yahoo options. Pictures, Databases, Files, etc. I'm hoping to try something new with the look of it, and see if I can't make some improvements.

Didn't do any writing last night. Was quite busy at work because people left a whole bunch of boxes and bins in stupid places, so I was on the forklift for like an hour moving shit around so I could actually do stuff. And Chris (not my boyfriend, I know waaay to many fucking Chris') the little shit that he is, decided to leave me with a full chip bin. So I had to empty it out even before I got to putting the nights waste in it. *sigh* Sometimes I think the little bastard does it on purpose.

Ah, well. In general it was a pretty good night though. Even if I broke 2 drills.

:P

First Blog

Well, this is my fist attempt at a blog. We'll see how it all works out in the end. I just figure if nothing else this is a good writing exercise, which will hopefully get me writing on a more regular basis.
Last night I skipped out on my writing. I was drawing instead, which I guess isn't all that bad. I drew the two main characters for a webcomic Dave (a friend of mine and my co-worker) came up with once. Kinda rough yet, but I am developing my comic style more. I'm not sure what I think of it yet, the style that is. But I wanted something relatively easy to draw, 'cause you figure you're gonna be drawing it a lot. Now if only I had some more of the script written for it I could actually start doing something with it.
Gonna go grab my son tomorrow so we can hang out this weekend. Looking forward to that, with a little luck it'll start happening more often, 'cause I rarely spend yime with just him when I go home.

Well, hopefully everything will all come together.

Thats about all thats in mind to say right now.