How thing are being...

Yeah, its poor English, but I don't care...

Anyhoo, I had a second job interview at a place today, which hopefully means that I'll be employed somewhere else. Though for the next month or so I may work both jobs.

Anyhoo, gotta run.

Later peeps!

P.S. For those who don't know, I have a new phone (the other one finally died) so you can grab the number from a pile of people if I haven't gotten in touch with you yet. I'm working my way through the list...really, I am.

Selected excerpt from my own writings...

The Necessity of Cruelty

It strikes me sometimes that I am self-involved.

Animal instinct dictates survival.

Jude was a paragon of this ideal. When his need of me was ended, I was discarded. Like when a wolf has finished eating the flesh of his prey, I am the bones that remain behind to tell the tale of slaughter.

Are humans so far removed from animals as we believe? In one manner I think we do. An animal, when endangered, will defend itself. Or its young. A mate as well. I was not able to defend myself from Jude. I could not see what was to occur. But beyond what Jude has done to me, I now find myself compelled to do the same.

Even more, I feel it is justified. What makes a person feel that they can do the same, or worse than what was done to them? Is cruelty a necessity of humanity? Must I go now in search of another person to hurt, because of what was done to me? So they too can hurt others in turn.

I know that being hurt does not justify hurting others, but I feel drawn to do the same as what I perceive other are doing. To hurt them, as I was once hurt. To diregard their person, their feelings, thoughts, their very self for my goals, my needs.

Perhaps this behaviour makes us lower than animals. At least they can live in some form that coexists with others. A predator does not destry all life for no reason other than its own inclinations. They are driven to destroy, but not out of malice.

I feel like a sullen child, hitting another because they wouldn't play with me. It seems almost humourous that as an adult I am no better than a spoiled child, or worse than an animal.

How is it we have this inherent darkness in us?

To be continued....

Homeless again?

I may be searching for a place to live again. Yay. Some crap went down with Meggo and John (one of the roommates) Ugh.

This sucks.

Life sucks.

I have kidney stones, according to my ultrasound.

Can things get any bettter?

Or more importantly, can they get any worse?

Later. If I don't kill myself or something in the meanwhile. Thats a joke. In case anyone felt inclined to take that seriously.

Survey in honour of working in a phone survey place...

Okay, here goes:

1. Have you ever been in an elevator and spontaneously decided to see if pushing on the side of the interior, such as to throw your weight in that direction, would acheive anything:
a)Yes
b)No

If "a" then;

2. Having done the action described above, you find that the elevator does sort of shimmy and make an awful noise?
a)Yes
b)No

If "a" then;

3. Did you find this disturbing?
a)Yes
b)No

If you answered "b" to the first question, then you don't have enough fun in life, perhaps you're even normal.

If answered all questions with "a" then what the hell did you expect to happen you sissy?

If you answered "b" to question 3, then you are like me, and probably found it amusing/fun.

Fin.

Choices..

Everyone makes choices, all the time, on some level. When we make a choice it affects many things, from where we eat, to who we incidentally meet whilst at dinner. People have to make choices, A or B or C, in order to live. Go to work a) yes, eat lunch b) spaghetti. I think sometimes I take option D too much sometimes, which is simply to not choose. Simple things usually aren't an issue, at least when no on else is involved, but otherwise I tend to take the "out" option. I don't know why I am always so reluctant to choose things. Maybe it seems like the path of least resistance. Who knows? (The Shadow knows!) Anyhoo, thats it about that for the moment.

I've been writing at work between calls, because it is boring. I wrote a crappy poem that should be strongly edited. But I gave it to Meggo, so I guess my horrible attempt will not be altered. I may do more tonight, if only because it will occupy my mind while I am dialing.

I've been somewhat successfully pushing Meggo to write her LSAT practise tests. She's done a few, but needs to work on her time.

Other than that things are much the same I guess. I've been sleeping better, my cough didn't wake me up more than once last night.

I wore a pair of Meaghan's pants yesterday. It was kinda funny. Though I'm not sure if I like women's pants, at least the one's Meggo wears. They're all tight and stuff. Though apparently I am a size 30. Andrea told me the other day (I went to her birthday on Sunday, as well as Scrabble [she is a singer I know via my roomies, for those who are wondering] with her) that she thought I was losing weight, and I guess it must be true. The pants weren't that bad I guess. I mean, I like pants, and pants are pants.

Well, thats all I can think of right now.

Lates!

Been working...

Well, I've been working these past 5 days at the phone survey place. They stuck me on the 15 min survey, because apparently I have the knack of getting people of actually doing the whole thing. Which sucks. And the pay sucks too, but its still a paycheque. Even if it is a crappy one.

I've been working 8.5 hour days. So I really haven't had much time to do too many things, because it sort of falls in the middle of things. I have a few hours to do stuff before, and then a few hours after.

So I've been kinda busy as of late, sorry if I haven't been talking all, but I thought getting work and doing it was pretty important.

Anyhoo, thats about it.

It seems I'll be working.

Well, I have apparently landed the job, I start tomorrow. Yay. I. Am. So. Excited.

Hung out with Megan last night, we took a walk and talked like the old days. Except it wasn't in Cobourg.

It was fun, she went home after we performed the exorcism on my computer. I dropped in on the Scrabble people and said Hi, but didn't play. We were drinking in the Green Room. Meaghan, Jeff, Anita and her latest boy Noel, Matt, Caroline, Shaun and Myself. We had some good times.

Shaun, Anita and her boy (likely to not be seen again from what I hear) went to Ciao Edie's afterwards, Meggo and I home. Caroline and Matt left early due to an early day today.

It was a good day in general I'd say.

Well, here goes...

Off to my job interview shortly, good luck to me!

Haircut

I got my hair cut for my job interview tomorrow. It looks pretty good, or so people tell me.

No, I did not get a bush cut. So don't ask.

Its long enough for me to tie back. I guess I'll find out what Meggo thinks of it later (she's at work right now)

Um...other than that, nothing new.

Later peeps.

Work...

Well, I have a job interview on Monday, at a phone survey place. Yes, is sounds evil, but its work after all.

Other than that, not much new.

Things are goin' okay so far with the living arrangements. Not great, but okay.

Later all.

Better...

Mentally anyways. Physically, I still feel like shit. No surprise there. Ugh. I'm now officially moved in with Meggo. Not entirely sure how I feel about it. I'm working at a "wait and see" level.

Tried to get a few job things worked out today. Nothing really new there. Um...

I sort of realized the other day when I was moving out by myself (Betty was moving out the same day, with the help of several people) seeing David made me realize how much I miss him. I used to spend so much time with him, it just sort of seemed natural. Plus we got on so well (Though not always to the best effect!).

I feel like I should phone or something, but I also feel guilty about how things ended out at S&E A.K.A. his Dad's business. More like, I feel guilty because I have the feeling that he also got an earful or five about it from Sven. And then there's the status with Debbie. I owe Betty some money still, hell I owe money to a lot of people, but there's shit all I can do about it right now. I really would like to get all these things straightened out, but I haven't any way of actually doing so.

I dunno, I feel like I have probably burned those bridges, without meaning to. I will try to make things right as far as owing people goes, but I'm not sure if I can do anything to save the relationships that have been damaged along the way.

So maybe I'm not feeling so well mentally. I mean, I just spent 4 hours cleaning. With more to come. A little off for my behavioural patterns. But most people don't realize that when I am OCD about cleaning, I am extremely particular.

Anyhoo, gotta fold my laundry and get started on the kitchen.